i'm a nervous wreck!

here i am trying to calm the nerves of my soon to be third grader and i can't help but think...holy crap! they are in a new school...i don't know how to do the drop off or pick up or the dress code or the lunch rules. i don't know any of it!!!! (i know i will learn quickly but still) i'm also torn up about tucker being gone ALL DAY LONG! i can't believe this child is in kindergarten already. it is killing me. this afternoon i started crying into joe's shoulder to which he responded, "you and i are very different. i am excited for them to be gone!" the nerve!!!! then when i was putting tucker to bed tonight we were praying and i started to cry again! it seems like just yesterday i was bringing him home from the hospital...now i sound painfully old. thank goodness tomorrow i get to keep lucy home with me while the older two go off to full day school. ugh....i think we are both due to get a pedicure tomorrow...that will definitely make me feel better about all of this!

on a side note i am super excited for my sis, brother in law, and kiddos to come and invade our house this weekend. it will make for a really fun time and i'm sure we will all laugh a lot. i love seeing my kids get to play with their cousins!!! it's the best! can't wait to see you mandy!!!!!! i'm sure our husbands are dreading us being together....let the eye rolling begin!

amazingness to say the least

i love when suddenly you can see the whole big picture with God's hand blessing every part of your life for the last two years and you had know idea how it was happening. i mean, who am i to even question God's plan? but it's pretty cool when you see it laid out for you.

everyone knows our struggle with lucy...two years of testing and vomiting and headaches and no test showing a reason why. finally we got a diagnosis of the chiari malformation but we still weren't convinced it was causing her trouble. we weren't convinced we were making the right decision with the surgery and that she would be free from her symptoms. we trusted in the surgeon that said it needed to be taken care of and that it was a big one. soon after the surgery lucy started with her symptoms again. i didn't want to believe it but sure enough she was vomiting again. as if that wasn't frustrating enough, her doctors didn't seem to care to see her.

daisy and i had to take a trip to the dr the other night for her swimmers ear that was really bothering her. we were the last appointment of the night and we were an easy one. the doc could've come in checked her ears and left to go home to his family but instead he sat down to talk to me. he asked a couple of questions about lucy and came up with what i think is the exact diagnosis for her. something so simple...abdominal migraines. holy crap!!!!!!! seriously???? something that easy....

i am amazed that we had never seen this dr before the other night. i am amazed that we never got this simple diagnosis...and i truly believe that God wanted us to find lucy's chiari before we knew what was really wrong with her. she had to have that surgery...she had to be fixed before we could settle her symptoms of the migraines. that just amazes me more than i can say!!!! i just don't know how people can not believe in God when you clearly see His hand at work!

that all being said, i feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. i didn't realize how stressed i was about lu's health and the pain she was feeling every month. poor kid...all she needed was some tylenol and a dark room to sleep in...and maybe some meds but we are researching that now to come up with something to help her.

i love my kids and i love that God has entrusted them to me to take care of. it sure is humbling!

finally a weekend with "nothing" to do!

we had a great weekend! nothing was on our calendar so we just did things around the house, had some neighbors over for dinner, and visited some family! it was great!!! just what we needed before school starts next week. i am even excited looking at my calendar for this week as there is only one day that has something on it! i love it! i can seriously enjoy my kids for a whole week before they go back to school.
today i am making some phone calls to different doctors to see what we can do about lucy. she's had two more episodes of vomiting since her surgery. it's frustrating because we did the surgery hoping this would go away...but i can't think that way and i have to remember that she absolutely needed to have the surgery anyway. the doctors we are working with now don't seem too interested in seeing her again and i don't want to push her to do more testing at all...but to see her so miserable makes me think something is definitely wrong with her. i really don't know....
i was a little sad that i couldn't participate in ellen's run this year. it's a yearly fundraiser for breast cancer research that my whole family takes part in. i shouldn't say that i couldn't go...i just chose not to. like i said earlier...we had nothing to do this weekend and we really needed a weekend with no traveling. so i supported my fam and they had a very emotional and fun and exciting day yesterday. i'm so proud of all of them...they worked hard and raised money for a worthy cause!!!!
i'm really excited that joe has decided to lose 20 lbs with me! that will make it much easier for me too. he hit a weight that apparently upset him...he looks great to me but it's exciting to think he wants to be healthier...so no more sitting on the couch at night watching him snack! now we can both be eating fruit and veggies together! i love it!!!!!!!

back to reality

in some ways it's so good to be back home. it's nice to sleep in my bed and not wake up with back pain, it's nice to have vegetables at every meal, and it's nice...well...i'm having trouble coming up with a third thing about being home...oh yeah...it's AWESOME to be back with joe full time again! we are such a great team and have so much fun together that i really do miss him when he is away. not to mention i miss the extra set of hands when it comes to bath and bedtime with the kids.
i do hate coming back to the craziness of life though. boy did i love sitting on the beach and not having a care in the world. here we are now with the phone ringing off of the hook, neighborhood kids ringing the doorbell every hour, and chores that need my attention. i miss being with my kids already. daisy leaves for overnight camp on sunday...her first time...and i am going to miss her so much. if it wasn't the family's camp, and if my sister in law didn't live down there, daisy would not be going...but who am i to hold her back...she wants to go so she should go and have a great time! i just hate letting her go....
we went shopping yesterday for tucker's back to school stuff. WHAT???? when did this kid get old enough to go to kindergarten???? and what was i thinking to find a school that could keep him full day????? i know in my heart that God led us to this special school so tucker could have a full day and not be rushed through his learning but it is coming at me too fast. it will just be me and lucy in the afternoons for this year and then she goes full day next year. wow...suddenly my world is changing and i am certainly not ready for it. i always talked about this but now that it is a reality it's very daunting. i just got established as a "stay at home mom" and now what? back to work?
lucy went for her recheck at the hospital yesterday and she got the approval to go ahead with no restrictions. let's just pray that she doesn't have anymore vomitting episodes and that we are past this problem all together.
i'm off to the gym now at this crazy early hour but it's the only time i can do it and not take time away from the kiddos. thankfully my neighbor is going with me and i adore spending time with her so it makes it easy to get out of bed.