i've shared this story with a few people but thought i should blog about it so i can remember how gracious our God is.
moving to PA was one of the hardest things i've had to do in my life. i'm always looking for a new adventure but this was a big one. i moved away from my entire family and didn't know anybody besides joe when i got married. his family was nice but still not the same. when we moved into our home now i planted a bunch of hydrangeas. i wanted our home to feel like MY home so i bought the blue ones from the store. great, i thought, now i can feel like i am at home. as soon as those plants were planted in the ground the blooms that were a beautiful pale blue turned pink. i was so mad i could spit. everyone told me to put coffee grounds in the soil, or buy the special store made stuff to turn them blue. but to me, it just wasn't the same. i had crappy pink PA hydrangeas.
after my big summer trip to east hampton last year i noticed how truly special my pink flowers were because they are very rare around where i grew up. i started to appreciate the colors that my flowers had to offer and for the first time driving back to PA i felt such a contentment. i was going home...to MY home...pennsylvania. i was excited to be home and felt so good about being there. i couldn't stop thanking God for this contentment...i always felt guilty for feeling the way i did before and didn't want my kids to think i wasn't happy. i was happy...i am happy.
as the days wore on little things began to happen around me. i started noticing friendly faces in the grocery store. people that i knew would pop up in walmart and we could chat for five minutes. i would even notice cars on route 1 that i recognized...i would speed up and wave to my friend or family that happened to be there. i never once took these little things for granted because for a few years i hadn't had them.
this summer we've been doing lots of outside yardwork like planting trees and adding some mulch beds. in one of my weeding frenzies i happened to be right in front of my hydrangeas that was filled with buds. out of the corner of my eye i noticed something....my buds were blooming in BLUE! i ran around the yard like a crazy woman screaming everytime i got to a new one with another BLUE bloom!!! everyone that was blue when i planted it was now blue again after two or three years being pink!
people can think what they want to think...a change in soil...too much rain...whatever. i know my heart needed to be in the right place for me to get those blue hydrangeas. i know God taught me a lesson and every summer when those flowers bloom again (pink OR blue) i will be thankful for what i have.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
i'm so glad i'm not the type of person that gets annoyed with a kid coming to me in the middle of the night. i figure if they are waking me up there must be a reason and i'm happy to be patient with them while they are scared, or frustrated, or just sad from a bad dream. i had the opportunity last night to hear a thunderstorm coming before any of my kids woke from it. as i was closing the windows in their bedrooms i noticed each one of them was a little nervous from the noises outside and the huge flashes of light. i quickly ushered them into my bed and cuddled them tightly to calm them down.
i love when i can be patient in God's timing and feel calmed down from my own anxious heart. it's so reassuring to know that He has a plan for us and we are in control of nothing. whatever happens is part of His masterplan and we can rest assured that He loves us and wants the best for us.
i'm sure God has the same feeling about His children as i do about mine. what a joy to be able to comfort them when they allow me to pour my love on them. when they come to me, i am here for them. what an honor to have these little blessings in my life...that God would even think i am worthy of having them and teaching them and training them up to be the amazing people they are meant to be. i sure don't feel worthy but i know that it's all part of the plan and that i don't have to worry a bit! such peace....