when i consider this upcoming school year coming towards me at the speed of a jet at top speed, i get sick to my stomach. i can't believe that i will have all three kids in school for three mornings a week. this day seemed so far away only a few years ago and now that it is upon me, i don't want it! i love having my kids at home. i do know that it will really only be 9 hours a week that i will have to find something to do with myself. i also know that finding something to do will not be that difficult. it is my goal to get things done so when the little ones come home my attention is all theirs.
i've toyed with putting in an application at lowes. i want a job that doesn't require training and that i don't have to take home with me. i also want a discount at a store that i frequent. i don't think this is the year for a job but i know that day is coming and i am ready for it. i am not a good stay at home mom if there is nobody here. i will be bored out of my mind.
anyway, when i think of how little i will see my precious daisy is makes me cry. once we add in piano lessons and brownies for her, then choir once a week for joe and i, it makes for a very busy week. last year daisy was in our church AWANA group and she loved every minute of it. she would learn her bible verses and sing fun songs. i am selfish with my time with her though so after much prayer and discussion we've decided not to send her back there this year. instead we purchased a couple of dinnertime devotional books that we can use everynight with all the kids around the table while we are eating. i think it's something important and it's even more important that we do it together and are home and not rushing around to the next thing.
some days i am ready for school to begin.....and then others i get a rising lump in my throat. i just have to trust in God's plan for me and where he will lead me. i know i am meant to be right here right now and i have to be open for what's to come! change is good....
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I could have written this about 19 years ago. How time flies! I know how you feel - its a new stage in your life - but like every other stage you adjust and move on. You have wonderful things coming your way you don't even know about yet. Take it from someone who's been there. But I do still miss having your around the house!
ReplyDeleteHow I needed to read this today.
ReplyDeleteSince returning to England, I have not felt like a very good mom. I have been snappy with the kids, impatient, and having a hard time understanding how they can't seem to find much to do around here, and yet make such a huge mess doing nothing! I missed teaching yesterday. Teaching is something I have always felt successful at, so when I have a bad mothering spell, I start thinking about how "glorious" my life would be if I could just go back to work and have someone else watch the kids. I don't mean it, of course. But, reading your post helps me put perspective back in my thinking.
Now, if I could only get beyond this jet lag...