the poor store

so today i had the chance to go to what my dear friend carrie calls "the poor store." she calls it the poor store because you can shop there even when you are poor. it really is called BB's grocery outlet. it is about a half hour from our house and is self labeled "off the beaten path." carrie has been raving about this place since the day i met her last august and i've wanted to go along but it just hasn't worked out. so we made a date of it this week because she really wanted me to see it.
the store carries bent boxes, dented cans, even cases of drinks where the outer plastic, that holds all of the drinks together, has come loose.

it was more than i could've imagined. it rocked!! there were rows and rows of groceries all at major discounts. i was nervous that i wouldn't be able to find organic stuff...i had no need to be nervous. there was organic stuff everywhere. i got Annie's mac and cheese for $.50 a box!!! i stayed away from things that were expired and none of my boxes had smashes or dents. needless to say i loaded up my grocery cart with boxes of snacks, drinks, taco kits (for $.50), and even personal hygiene products all for $56!!!!! i was amazed. even joe couldn't believe how little everything cost when he saw it all laid out on the counter tops.

anyone that knows me knows i love a good sale and a great deal. This store calmed the sale beast inside of me for a long long time. but i still can't wait to go back!!

a lump in my throat...

when i consider this upcoming school year coming towards me at the speed of a jet at top speed, i get sick to my stomach. i can't believe that i will have all three kids in school for three mornings a week. this day seemed so far away only a few years ago and now that it is upon me, i don't want it! i love having my kids at home. i do know that it will really only be 9 hours a week that i will have to find something to do with myself. i also know that finding something to do will not be that difficult. it is my goal to get things done so when the little ones come home my attention is all theirs.
i've toyed with putting in an application at lowes. i want a job that doesn't require training and that i don't have to take home with me. i also want a discount at a store that i frequent. i don't think this is the year for a job but i know that day is coming and i am ready for it. i am not a good stay at home mom if there is nobody here. i will be bored out of my mind.
anyway, when i think of how little i will see my precious daisy is makes me cry. once we add in piano lessons and brownies for her, then choir once a week for joe and i, it makes for a very busy week. last year daisy was in our church AWANA group and she loved every minute of it. she would learn her bible verses and sing fun songs. i am selfish with my time with her though so after much prayer and discussion we've decided not to send her back there this year. instead we purchased a couple of dinnertime devotional books that we can use everynight with all the kids around the table while we are eating. i think it's something important and it's even more important that we do it together and are home and not rushing around to the next thing.
some days i am ready for school to begin.....and then others i get a rising lump in my throat. i just have to trust in God's plan for me and where he will lead me. i know i am meant to be right here right now and i have to be open for what's to come! change is good....

toys

i hate toys. whew, i feel better now that that's out in the open. i think toys are ugly, and dumb. i love my toy room but i hate cleaning it. when i start to go through it i realize how spoiled my kids are and how much we have that we really don't need. if we just had pots and pans in the toy room...that's what they would play with. if we had cardboard boxes...that's what they would play with. but for now the room is filled with dolls, and castles, and puzzles, and a whole bunch of stuff we don't need. i don't feel like any of what we have inspires creativity!!

every three months or so i go through everything and get rid of stuff the kids don't play with. usually it is about 4 huge trash bags full that we pack in the back of the car and head to the mission with. sometimes i imagine how full our house would be if i NEVER got rid of anything we have. ugh....

i know this post is kind of boring but i happen to be sitting in a spot where i can see directly into the toyroom that needs desperately to be cleaned....here we go again....

missed moments

i tend to rush out of the house when i decide i need to do something. when i have a mission it's go go go until it's done. yesterday i was trying to get lucy dressed and rushing her along. finally it dawned on me, we had nowhere we HAD to be and nothing we HAD to do. i waited patiently for her to finish putting her jessie doll to bed. it had to be one of the cutest things i've ever witnessed. she was such a good mommy to her jessie doll, speaking softly and telling her she was a good girl. it was too cute for words.

it did make me wonder though. how many of these moments have passed me by because i was rushing to get to the next thing?

note to self: live life in the moment and don't worry about what's coming next.

fluffy the wonder pet

daisy could not have been more excited at her surprise birthday party when she received a hamster from our neighbors. it is the gift she wanted most of all and one that a parent just can't (in their right mind) pull the trigger on. daisy is actually at the perfect age for a pet like this. for the little attention that it requires she is happy to deliver it.

for a couple of weeks now daisy has been bugging us to create a maze that fluffy can find her way through. we've been putting it off and putting it off and finally yesterday we found the perfect box. actually, it landed on our doorstep (complete with my hot rollers i had ordered.) we went down to the basement and searched through our load of craft supplies and found just what we needed. with a little tape and some imagination we made a maze for this little creature.

i had the best time spending time with daisy imagining and creating together. what surprised me the most? how excited i was when fluffy made it to the end of the maze!!

and then they were blue

i've shared this story with a few people but thought i should blog about it so i can remember how gracious our God is.
moving to PA was one of the hardest things i've had to do in my life. i'm always looking for a new adventure but this was a big one. i moved away from my entire family and didn't know anybody besides joe when i got married. his family was nice but still not the same. when we moved into our home now i planted a bunch of hydrangeas. i wanted our home to feel like MY home so i bought the blue ones from the store. great, i thought, now i can feel like i am at home. as soon as those plants were planted in the ground the blooms that were a beautiful pale blue turned pink. i was so mad i could spit. everyone told me to put coffee grounds in the soil, or buy the special store made stuff to turn them blue. but to me, it just wasn't the same. i had crappy pink PA hydrangeas.
after my big summer trip to east hampton last year i noticed how truly special my pink flowers were because they are very rare around where i grew up. i started to appreciate the colors that my flowers had to offer and for the first time driving back to PA i felt such a contentment. i was going home...to MY home...pennsylvania. i was excited to be home and felt so good about being there. i couldn't stop thanking God for this contentment...i always felt guilty for feeling the way i did before and didn't want my kids to think i wasn't happy. i was happy...i am happy.
as the days wore on little things began to happen around me. i started noticing friendly faces in the grocery store. people that i knew would pop up in walmart and we could chat for five minutes. i would even notice cars on route 1 that i recognized...i would speed up and wave to my friend or family that happened to be there. i never once took these little things for granted because for a few years i hadn't had them.
this summer we've been doing lots of outside yardwork like planting trees and adding some mulch beds. in one of my weeding frenzies i happened to be right in front of my hydrangeas that was filled with buds. out of the corner of my eye i noticed something....my buds were blooming in BLUE! i ran around the yard like a crazy woman screaming everytime i got to a new one with another BLUE bloom!!! everyone that was blue when i planted it was now blue again after two or three years being pink!
people can think what they want to think...a change in soil...too much rain...whatever. i know my heart needed to be in the right place for me to get those blue hydrangeas. i know God taught me a lesson and every summer when those flowers bloom again (pink OR blue) i will be thankful for what i have.

Phillipians 4:6-7

i'm so glad i'm not the type of person that gets annoyed with a kid coming to me in the middle of the night. i figure if they are waking me up there must be a reason and i'm happy to be patient with them while they are scared, or frustrated, or just sad from a bad dream. i had the opportunity last night to hear a thunderstorm coming before any of my kids woke from it. as i was closing the windows in their bedrooms i noticed each one of them was a little nervous from the noises outside and the huge flashes of light. i quickly ushered them into my bed and cuddled them tightly to calm them down.

i love when i can be patient in God's timing and feel calmed down from my own anxious heart. it's so reassuring to know that He has a plan for us and we are in control of nothing. whatever happens is part of His masterplan and we can rest assured that He loves us and wants the best for us.

i'm sure God has the same feeling about His children as i do about mine. what a joy to be able to comfort them when they allow me to pour my love on them. when they come to me, i am here for them. what an honor to have these little blessings in my life...that God would even think i am worthy of having them and teaching them and training them up to be the amazing people they are meant to be. i sure don't feel worthy but i know that it's all part of the plan and that i don't have to worry a bit! such peace....